


A second life

by Kurerufox



Category: Transformers - All Media Types
Genre: Angst and Romance, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Eventual Happy Ending, Friends to Lovers, Head Injury, Memory Loss, Other, Slow Build, Strangers to Lovers, William Lennox Whump, William Lennox needs a hug
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-27
Updated: 2021-01-03
Packaged: 2021-03-11 10:21:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,883
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28349829
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kurerufox/pseuds/Kurerufox
Summary: William Lennox wakes up with no idea about who he is. He can't remember anyone, that includes his family and friends as well as the Autobots.With the help of Ironhide will he finally remember his past or build himself a new life?-> Yes, Ironhide is still alive, AU not entirely canon compliant :)Tags will be added as the story unravels but don't hesitate to tell me if you think I missed an important one!
Relationships: Ironhide & William Lennox, Ironhide/William Lennox, William Lennox/Sarah Lennox (implied)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 9





	1. Day one

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not English and this is not Beta-read so: sorry for the mistakes!

-"Your name is William Lennox." Said the man standing by the side of the bed on which Will had been laying for a week, getting up only for physiotherapy, he was a doctor and his calm demeanour annoyed the bedded man. "You're military, a colonel and you work at NEST with Autobots." A nurse checked the IV currently stuck in his arm and left the room. "You've been in a coma for a month due to a severe head trauma. It's perfectly normal for you to feel disorientated."

-"I don't feel _disorientated_ , I can't fucking remember shit!" Said Will in a harsh tone. "How long until I get my memory back?"

-"There's no way to tell, it's not even certain that you will get it back to be honest." Replied the man in white as if the news did not need him to use gloves, Will clenched his teeth wincing, pressing his hands on his head. "The best thing to do is to be patient. You can try to trigger your memory by following daily routines like you used to. It's already been cleared with your superiors, you'll be allowed to go back to base and spend time with Ironhide, you Autobot partner. A familiar environment often helps, but it'll take time."

The man in white kept on talking but Lennox's mind had wandered off, he was a stranger to himself, everything and everyone around him was unknown, at least until now. He had not recognised any of the people visiting him, even though he could tell they knew him, the worst part had been seeing a woman with a little girl entering his room and looking so very happy to see him awake, tears in the woman's eyes and the little girl shouting _daddy!_ as she jumped on the bed to hug him. He had tried hard to remember but to no avail, he had pretended for the little girl's sake but the woman had not been fooled and it was eating at him: she was his wife apparently. The doctor moved towards the door and William paid attention again.

-"I'll see you tomorrow before your release Colonel Lennox." Will nodded and waved a hand, the man in white made a nod and left the room. William found himself alone again and realised he had never felt so lonely in his entire life, or at least that's what he thought since he could not remember his past. He groaned and rubbed his head with both his hands, hitting it softly with his fists.

-"Just fucking remember..." He told his brain. "This can't be happening..." He groaned, shook his head and finally sobbed silently for a moment, feeling sorry for himself before getting angrier than sorry and bolting out of his bed. It was obviously not the best idea in the world since he had no more strength than a five years old after laying still for an entire month, he fell miserably to the ground and stayed there hitting the linoleum floor with a low growl before pulling himself together and slowly raising his body on wobbly legs to get back on his bed.

The rest of the day passed agonisingly slowly, just like the previous week, William watched some TV, then he was taken for some more exams, just to make sure it was definitely alright to him to leave the hospital the next day, then he had some physiotherapy to get back on his feet and ended up watching some more TV just to keep his mind from running around in circles.

The next day, awkwardly seated in a wheelchair, he left behind the only people he had grown to know: his doctors and nurses. He was escorted back to base by a Robert Epps, a man that apparently knew him better than most and seemingly had been his friend for many years. The patience the man showed towards him seemed to be infinite and Lennox was thankful that he wasn't pushing him to remember things he could not and just letting him be, silently driving.

They reached the base and Lennox was showed to his room where his belongings were waiting for him, things he could not remember owning for the most part, on his desk, photos in frames with faces he knew he should know: the wife, the little girl, family and friends as well as other soldiers and... He took a picture frame to have a closer look: giant robots posing alongside humans for posterity.

-"Autobots?" He asked Epps showing him the photo. The muscular black guys looked surprised for a second before he replied:

-"Yeah, Autobots..." He looked a little sad now. "I guess there's gonna be a lot of re-learning to do but don't worry I'm sure it'll come back to you eventually. In the meantime if there's anything you need to know you've got me and Hide, I mean Ironhide." He pointed at the mech on the photo. "He's been adamant about helping you in any way he can."

-"He was my partner right?"

-"Yeah, he's been by your side for years... We can go and see him now if you want, I know he's eager to see you."

-"Yeah, why not." Lennox needed to get back to some kind of normal and since he could remember being a soldier, it seemed like a good place to start. "Let's go." He said putting the photo frame back on the desk.

Epps pushed his wheelchair across the base to the hangar where Ironhide had settled by himself, away from the rest of the Autobots. He had been retreating from social interaction with pretty much everyone since Lennox had fallen into a coma, coming out only for missions and acting like a shadow of himself.

-"Hide! Guess who's back amongst us!" Said Epps happily as he entered the vast space, pushing Lennox in front of him. Lights turned on and suddenly William found himself facing a giant machine that seemed familiar somehow. The bot leant down and kneeled in front of him slowly.

-"William Lennox, nice to see you conscious and looking alert." He said. The Colonel felt strangely soothed by the low pitched robotic voice.

-"Hey." He said a little unsettled. "It's... huh, nice to be back I guess..." He looked at the bot meticulously, his eyes lingered on his chest-plates where his spark was hidden, he could not remember it but somehow he knew something important resided underneath. He frowned and rubbed his neck, maybe his memory would come back eventually after all. "I feel like I know you... kind of..." He said tilting his head to the side, looking at Ironhide's optics intently.

-"You do?" Asked Epps. "This is good!" Ironhide moved his face lower as Lennox raised his hand to touch him and he leant on the human's hand with a low humming.

-"This is good news indeed." He said. There was a stillness in time as they made contact, Lennox closed his eyes, feeling the subtle vibration of the engines running under the cold metal beneath his hand. Images flashed before his eyes randomly, mixed up and familiar, all involving him and the Autobot, most of them were memories of combat, of deep trust and fearless action but some felt more intimate, like that image of the two simply talking as they watched a sunset in the middle of a desert, all alone.

Ironhide closed his optics as well and felt his spark shine brighter, he knew he had a bond with the human but at this instant he found himself wondering how deep it ran and how much he could actually share with a human being because he wanted to share more. At this instant he wanted Lennox as his mate. He reopened his eyes unsettled by the thought, he had never felt like this towards the Colonel even if he had always cared about him, the man had a family and had never showed any romantic interest towards him. They were partners and they trusted each other, nothing more.

Lennox reopened his eyes and stepped backwards, he could not keep his eyes off the bot, he felt like crying as he said:

-"I... I remember some of you... I mean some of the stuff we did together. It's strange, I can't put it back together entirely yet, but it's there... I think." He smiled a little and Epps nodded as he said:

-"I guess the doctors were right, being back here might help jog your memory! Maybe you should stay with Hide for a while, see where this goes." The chief master sergeant was feeling a bit awkward at the strange reunion, like he was the third wheel or something.

-"Yeah." Simply replied William as if mesmerised by the mech in front of him.

-"Right... call me if you need anything Will. I'll see you both later." He said as he turned around and left.

The door closed behind him and Lennox suddenly realised he had been staring for a long time. He cleared his throat and lowered his eyes, feeling a little ill at ease.

-"Relax." Said Ironhide. I can smell you tensing up he was about to say but didn't, wondering if giving too much information was a good idea. "You've nothing to worry about William, I'm with you now. Together we'll get you through this." The human raised his head again, he believed the bot without the shadow of a doubt.

-"I know." He said, a small smile appearing on the corner of his lips. "Thank you."

-"How about we go for a ride?" Asked the mech. "Get some fresh air and get away from here for a while. What d'you think?" Lennox nodded.

-"Hell yeah!" He replied happily, then he realised he was stuck in a wheelchair for the moment being. "Erm... but I can't drive." The bot made a sound that probably was a scoff before he replied:

-"I'll do the driving, you just enjoy the scenery." Then, to William's amazement the big machine turned into a pick-up truck, he knew he should not be surprised at the transformation but it was a first for him, call it the magic of memory loss he thought to himself.

-"Holy shit!" He said, eyes wide open, a grin on his face like a little kid. "This is amazing!" The pick up drove itself closer to him allowing him to get on board without needing to walk too much. He had a cane to help him anyway but Ironhide wanted to make things as easy as possible for ~~his mate~~ his partner. Lennox sat at the driver's seat and the door closed itself behind him, seatbelt putting itself in place just to be safe. "Alright, let's go." He said out loud guessing Ironhide could hear him. The vehicle moved out of the hangar and left the base at great speed, eliciting sounds of giddy happiness from its passenger.

Ironhide drove them around for a while and finally stopped at a familiar site where he knew William liked to come and chill out after a long day. He transformed back into his Autobot form after letting his passenger step out and sit on a big rock.

-"I know this place don't I?" Asked Lennox gazing at the view. "That's why you brought us here right?"

-"Yes." They both admired the view in silence for a while.

-"I have memories of us I can't really understand..." Said Will with a strange look on his face. "It's more like feelings than memories really... I don't know..." The bot looked at him but his gaze was lost in the void before them. "And my wife..." The word seemed strange in his mouth. "The woman I'm supposed to be married to... am married to..." He rubbed his head and whined softly. "I don't remember feeling anything towards her... Nothing..." He looked at Ironhide. "But you... I remember you. How's that possible?"

-"I don't know." The mech put his hand to his chest-plate. "Maybe it has something to do with my spark..."

-"Your... spark? That's your power-source right?"

-"It's more than that, it also accommodates what you would call our soul. It holds tremendous power that goes beyond what we actually know, so maybe the fact that we spent so much time together has somehow linked you to my spark and your recognise it..."

-"A spark-link huh?" Lennox looked pensive. "Yeah, why not..." He was feeling confused now. "Do you have feelings?" The question felt rude right after he said it out loud and he mumbled: "I mean like a human does you know... I'm not saying I think you're not a sensitive being, don't get me wrong." Ironhide made a low chuckling sound.

-"Yes, we do have feelings, sort of like humans do but not exactly. And don't worry about me getting you wrong, I'm here to help you William, I'll tell you anything you need to know." He leant down to get closer to the human's face. "No matter how rude the question might sound." He winked and Lennox laughed.

-"Good to know. Thanks Hide." For the first time since he had woken up, William felt comfortable and relaxed, so maybe it had something to do with the spark inside his partner's chest... Or maybe it was simply being in his company. Either way it felt safe and reassuring and that was just what he needed right now, some sense of belonging. "I'm glad you're here Hide. Even if I can't remember it all I know I trust you and quite frankly, it feels good to have something to hang on to right now..."

-"Like I said William, I'm here for you, always will be." Lennox looked at the bot and blushed as he thought about the fact that if he had been a human he might have kissed him at that instant. A part of him telling him that he cared more about his partner than he had initially thought.

Of course Ironhide noticed the colour change on the human's face as well as the soft but so unsettling smell of arousal emanating from him. He narrowed his optics questioningly, feeling his spark tickle him in a strange way, wondering if it was possible that the Colonel felt the same way as he did. _Mate_ , the word appeared in his mind and he said it out loud without even realising it.

-"What?" Asked Lennox.

-"What?" Repeated the mech unsettled.

-"You said mate?" There was no avoiding the explanation now, he had William's full attention.

-"When an Autobot finds his true mate their sparks recognise each other, pulling them towards one another. But since you have no spark I guess that doesn't apply to us." Lennox stared silently at the bot. He knew their kind had no gender so to speak, so he guessed that the bot had no problem suggesting they could have been mates, even if Lennox saw them both as males.

-"Like soul mates?"

-"I guess."

-"Then if we both have a soul, then maybe it might still be possible in some way?" The bot frowned sightly.

-"I guess... I had never thought about it this way..." He replied truthfully.

Something inside Lennox's chest warmed up at the idea: maybe he could be with Ironhide. But then reality came back crashing on his parade, his radio coming alive and calling him back to base.


	2. Day two

Lennox woke up in the middle of the night, sweaty and in panic because of yet another nightmare. He had not been sleeping properly since waking up from his coma, every night bringing back incomprehensible memories and images, filled with violence and fear, leaving him to wonder what his mind was trying to tell him for most of the day to follow. The lack of sleep was not helping him get his thoughts together and it all seemed like a never-ending circle of anguish even though the doctors had told him it was perfectly normal, that his mind was trying to put his memories back in order during the night.

He got up from his bed and using his cane walked slowly to his wheelchair. He grabbed a pair of sweat-pants and a hoody, passed them on and left his room to get something warm to drink from the mess. Everyone was still asleep, it was half past four and the silence was oppressive, Will thought about going to see Ironhide, after all the bots did not need to sleep. But then he decided against it. After their conversation the previous day, he had been wondering about his feelings towards the Autobot, his wife and the reason why he might have been needing his partner's comfort. He had decided to give a chance to his relationship with his wife, even though he could not remember feeling anything towards her, a sense of duty taking over him, telling him that he _had to_ give his family a chance, that he _had to_ make an effort.

And so, he had managed to convince himself that his attraction towards the mech was only because of his need to feel something more, to feel like he had a meaningful relation with someone and that it could have been anyone really. It had happened to be Hide because there already had been trust between them, nothing more.

He started wandering around the base aimlessly, hoping some familiar sights might trigger new memories and at the same time fearing they might just bring more nightmares. His hot coffee cup between his legs to keep his hands free, he pushed his wheelchair until he found himself lost, the base was big and he had not been paying enough attention on his way to remember where he had come from.

-"And now I'm fucking lost... Well done William!" He said out loud to himself. "Never mind, it's not like you actually have something to do other than wander around is it?" He shook his head no in response. "No 'cause I'm lost in every way, fucking lost and useless..." He felt tears raise in his eyes, he could not stop dwelling on his fucked up life and sleep depravation was making him over-sensitive apparently. "Shit... shit shit shit!" He wanted to kick something, break, explode, destroy, annihilate whatever, he needed a way to blow off some steam. Shooting range! He thought happily. But it was too early in the morning, he would probably wake up half the base and find himself surrounded by guards in full-alert. "Fuck!" He yelled in renewed anger. Then he heard a noise coming from behind one of the small hangars to his right and Ironhide appeared.

-"William? I thought I'd heard your voice." The bot moved closer to him looking concerned. "Is something wrong?" Lennox scoffed.

-"Yeah something's wrong: _me_! I'm going fucking nuts here..."

-"I can take you somewhere else if you want."

-"I don't mean here here, I mean here in my fucking head Hide!" His tone was harsh and the bot looked even more concerned. "I'm... I'm afraid I'm gonna loose it completely..." His voice faltered. "I'm stuck inside my head and I don't recognise any of it, nothing makes sense... I try to make decisions but I've only got a hundredth of the whole picture... And it all makes me so fucking angry... and there's nothing I or anyone else can do about it!" He rubbed his head. "Fuck!" Ironhide put a knee down and lowered himself before he spoke.

-"Seems to me like you need to let out some steam Colonel, how about we go and blow some things up?" Lennox looked at the bot with a smirk, a little surprised to see that the mech thought just like him.

-"Yeah well, I thought about that but it's too early and it'll wake the entire base so..."

-"Not necessarily..." Said the bot mischievously, Lennox tilted his head to the side raising a brow questioningly. "There are tunnels a few miles away, we use them sometimes to test weapons, only a bot would notice the vibrations an explosion would cause and I can make sure they know it's all under control." The human's face lit up.

-"Tunnels huh?" He nodded. "I'm in!" He smiled widely and Ironhide felt a bit relieved.

-"Alright then, leave that wheelchair here and climb on board then!" He transformed into his pick-up form and the Colonel sat on its passenger seat, the bot made a stop to grab a few weapons and explosives before they left the base and he sent a message to his fellow Autobots to inform them of their excursion.

The caves were huge and deep, big enough to accommodate Autobots and deep enough to allow the explosions to happen at a safe distance, at least with average types of weapons. It did not take long for Lennox to remember how to use a rocket launcher and soon he was firing away his anger and frustrations, blowing it all in loud explosions. Ironhide used his own weapons to join the party and add to the noise and bone-deep vibrations around them. Both of them shouting happy comments after almost each explosion and laughing like the kids they both were deep at heart. After a while Lennox felt fatigue take over him and Ironhide noticed it thanks to his undivided attention stuck on the human's vitals.

-"Alright, time to go." He said. "You need to rest William, your body's still recovering." The human did not argue, feeling drained like he had been needing to.

-"Yeah, I know... Thank you Hide, I really needed this."

-"I know." The two looked at each other silently. Lennox was still fighting himself and his feelings towards his partner, desperately trying to convince his guts that he had to give his wife a chance, but Ironhide was now definitely convinced that the human was to become his mate. He could tell the human was torn between his rational thoughts and his growing desires towards him and decided to leave him time o think things through. He transformed back into his pick-up form and opened its driver's door to invite Lennox in. The Colonel stepped inside the vehicle and they went back to base silently. At some point Lennox dozed off, after reaching the base, Ironhide darkened his windows to shield his passenger from the rising sun and kept his engines running to lull him like he knew it would. The human needed to rest and he would make sure that happened.

At some point Epps noticed the pick-up and its sleeping passenger, he went to knock on the window and wake up the Colonel, but Ironhide drove away, silently telling him not to, so the Sargent just said:

-"Hide, he needs to be at headquarters at fourteen hundred, he's got a meeting with General Morshower." After what he left.

A few hours later William woke up, feeling deeply relaxed, he stretched out lazily and yawned. His seat was reclined and pulled backwards to leave room for his legs, it was comfortable and most of all it felt safe. To his surprise he realised he had slept like a babe in arms, wondered how long it had been since they had left the caves. He sat upright and his seat followed him, he smiled at the ever so adapting pick-up and the attention behind. He looked around and noticed the sun up in the sky, he had slept for at least three hours he guessed. He opened the door and slowly stepped outside using his cane to help him stand up, needless to say the wheelchair was just next to the pick-up and he reached it easily. Ironhide turned back into his bot form and greeted the human:

-"Good morning William, I trust you slept well?" Lennox smiled sheepishly at him.

-"More than well, I had no nightmares... this is a first. Thanks Hide."

-"No need to thank me, it's my pleasure Will. And you're welcome to come and sleep over whenever you want." Said the bot winking, Lennox chuckled at the thought of spending his nights in a pick-up like a homeless, then he thought about spending his nights _inside_ Ironhide and that made him feel slightly more awkward.

-"I'll keep that in mind." He said trying to sound casual. The bot noticed it but moved on to make the human feel at ease.

-"Epps came by, said you need to be at headquarters at fourteen hundred to meet with General Morshower."

-"I've heard that name before... He's my commanding officer right?"

-"Yes and he's also the one who made it possible for you to come back here even though you should have been discharged."

-"Is he? I'll have to thank him for that."

-"I believe you and he have always trusted each other, he's a good commanding officer... for a human." Lennox smiled at the bot before looking at his watch.

-"I'm famished, I'd better go and eat something before heading to that meeting. I'll see you later?" He had not meant to sound so eager to see the bot again but never mind.

-"I'll be waiting for you in front of headquarters." Replied Ironhide and Will felt thankful and somehow relieved, the bot being his only anchor at the moment.

-"Alright, I'll see you then!" He pushed his wheelchair and stopped. "Shit, I still don't know where I am... Which way to the mess-hall?" Hide pointed in the right direction and said with a smile:

-"Straight ahead."

-"Thanks again Hide." Lennox left feeling like he had been thanking the bot a lot. He definitely owed him one, at least.

The meeting with his commanding officer went rather well, the news of his memories about Ironhide making the General look happy about his decision to have Lennox back on base. Then they talked about what William was allowed to do for the moment being, which admittedly was not much, after what the man had given him a full box of confidential reports to go through hoping it would help the trigger his memories.

William felt grateful towards the man, even though he could not remember him, Morshower seemed to trust him entirely and he even seemed to care a great deal about him, putting a comforting hand on his shoulder and telling him to hang in there before showing him to the door after their meeting ended. As promised, Ironhide was waiting for him outside and he looked at him warily as he exited the building.

-"How was your meeting?" He asked.

-"It was fine."

-"What's all this?" He pointed at the box on Will's lap.

-"Reports from our missions together, Morshower thinks it might help me recall things..."

-"You don't look so sure."

-"Well... Epps told me about a few of these already when I was in hospital but... I just couldn't remember any of it. So..." He made a face. "But I'll read them anyway, I'm curious to know what we've been up to really." He smiled a little, the bot's worried face making him feel like he should try and ease his concern towards him. "Apparently we're a bunch of badasses and we managed to kick the hell out of those Decepticons." Ironhide nodded proudly.

-"We are and we did. I could help with those files if you want, give you more details on what happened, it might help."

-"Yeah? That would be great." The bot wanted to help and Lennox wasn't going to be the one pushing him away. Besides the idea of getting more details seemed like a good one.

The two of them went to Ironhide's nest and spent the rest of the day reading and going into details, none of which helped trigger any memories but Will felt happy about being able to at least, know what he had been doing for the past years. He had to admit that they were probably more lucky than anything else for the most part, considering the scale of destruction in their wake. Then his phone rang.

Lennox answered, it was Sarah, his wife. Suddenly he felt snowed under guilt: he had not called her, he had not even really thought about her. He apologised and they talked for a while, then she asked him when he was going to come home and it took a moment for Will to find the strength to answer truthfully that he had no idea. The woman seemed sadden at first but then her tone changed to a more angry one as she asked him if he was with Ironhide, it surprised William a little, was she jealous of his relationship with his Autobot partner? He wondered if she had been before this whole ordeal or if it was something new. He told her that he could remember working with the bot and that his doctors had been pushing him to spend some time with him because it could help trigger his memories, but she seemed even angrier after that and quickly ended the call, telling him that Annabelle was fine but missed her daddy before hanging up.

Ironhide had been observing the human, he had heard the whole conversation too, thanks to his sensitive audio sensors and he felt a bit sorry for his partner, Sarah was not a bad woman but she felt hurt about the fact that her husband could remember a bot and not her or their daughter and he could understand her distress. But at the same time he was annoyed by her lack of patience towards William, after all he was not at fault, he was more a victim if anything and in his eyes, as her wife, she should have tried to understand that, showed more compassion. Like he was doing.

Lennox pushed his wheelchair to go outside and get some fresh air, he was on the brink of tears and did not wanted Hide to see him fall apart, the bot had been doing his best to get him back on his feet so the least he could do was spare him from the sight of a once again desperate partner. But Ironhide followed him.

-"I'm just gonna get some air." He said, trying hard to keep his voice from faltering and failing miserably. "I don't need you to come." He pushed his wheelchair a bit faster in an attempt to put some distance between them and make it clear that the bot did not have to follow.

-"Like I told you before Will, I'll stay by your side and help you get through this. For better or worst." At those words Lennox stilled in his chair, blinking before turning around to look at his partner.

-"You realise this is what married couples swear to each other?"

-"Yes." Simply replied the mech. Lennox smiled a little and shook his head. He could have told the bot to leave him alone, use harsh words to tell him off and make it clear that he wanted to be alone but his heart was telling him to just take what was given to him at that instant: a caring companion.

-"Alright. You can come, but I'm warning you, I'm probably gonna cry like a sad human."

-"I understand." Said Ironhide. "I too have experienced pain William and I would probably have cried too if it had been in my abilities." Lennox looked at the bot again and nodded silently.

The two of them stepped outside, night was slowly falling and the base was becoming silent. They sat in front of the hangar and looked at the sun setting without saying a word for a long time.

-"I understand how she feels." Finally said Lennox breaking the silence. "But I don't know what I can do to make her feel better... makes me feel like shit." The guilt he could feel in his partner deeply annoyed Ironhide anew and he replied in a harsh tone:

-"She should be the one trying to make you feel better Will. You're the one who has to endure all this day after day."

-"Well, that's a bit harsh don't you think? I mean, put yourself in her shoes, how would you feel if I told you I remembered my work partner and not you?"

-"I would put myself in _your shoes_ and wonder what it must be like to wake up and not remember who you are and who the people around you are." Continued the bot with the same tone, Lennox chuckled.

-"Well, I guess you're pretty exceptional Hide..." The bot looked at him with a frown.

-" _You_ are exceptional William and it's her loss if she can't recognise that and make an effort for someone like you." Lennox gaped at the declaration, feeling a bit unsettled. "I've never met anyone quite like you Will, you can't remember who you are and yet you're still the same trustworthy, kind and caring, feisty badass you were. It's who you are at heart and I find it admirable. But right now, you should stop worrying about other people's feeling and focus on yourself because you deserve it."

-"But she's my wife Hide... I took those vows when I married her, I have to at least make an effort you know..."

-"Like I said, you're admirable for caring like you do, especially towards someone you can't remember, but it should go both ways... she should make an effort too and it doesn't look like she's really doing that at the moment."

-"You can't know that..." Replied the man in the woman's defence because maybe she was, at least a part of him hoped she was. Ironhide did not say anything else after that, leaving the human to his thoughts, having said what he needed him to hear.

After a while Lennox felt tired and like he needed that time alone now so he turned to his partner and said:

-"I'm gonna head off to bed now. Thank you again Hide." The bot nodded. "I'll see you tomorrow."

-"See you tomorrow Will."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave a comment!!!! :)  
> And tell me if there's something you'd like to see happen in the next chapters, I'm opened to suggestions! ;)


	3. Day three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Here's a new chapter, I hope you'll like it. Let me know what you think! ;)

That night William did not sleep well, he woke up a few times, went back to sleep only to wake up moments later because of yet another nightmare, he found sleep at some point and saw himself with his daughter, he felt his love towards her and remembered her looking more grown up each time he came back from a mission. Then he had another nightmare, involving a vicious looking mech running after him, his voice filled with pure hatred towards the humans.

After what felt like an eternity, but was really only three hours, Lennox opened his eyes, got up from his bed sighing heavily, rubbing his head with both hands. It was now just a little after one in the morning, the base was silent. The man wondered if he should go and see Ironhide but instead tried to call his wife.

He ended up talking to her answering machine, which was to be expected at this hour, apologising for not remembering her, finding reasons for remembering Ironhide and then begging her to give him a chance, for their family and especially for their daughter because he could remember her now and how much he loved her. He apologised again for not remembering her, his wife, yet, but promised it would come back to him, just like with Annabelle.

Lennox hanged up the phone and exhaled. He felt stupid and useless again, he needed someone to talk to and Ironhide was the first to come to his mind, he felt so at ease with the bot. Things were simple. He put on a sweater, got to his wheelchair and left his room to joint the Autobot in his lair.

-"I tried to call Sarah again, ended up leaving a stupid message on her answering machine... I feel bad for her, you know, for not remembering her... On the bright side I remembered Annabelle, my daughter." Said William as he entered the hangar.

-"This is good news William! And don't worry about the wife, you'll remember her eventually. Things are improving with each day, it's looking promising!" Replied the mech crouching and nodding. The human looked at him suspiciously.

-"Are you trying to make me feel better?"

-"Is it working?" Lennox chuckled, touched by his partner's attention.

-"Not really, but thanks for trying Hide."

-"Wanna go to the caves and do some shooting?"

-"Nah... I feel kinda drowsy to be honest... I can't sleep because of all the nightmares... Even though I know I really should. The doctors gave me sleeping pills but I don't like the idea of loosing control you know..."

-"Let's go for a drive then, maybe it'll help, it did last time." Suggested Ironhide, Lennox looked at him and nodded slowly.

-"Why not, I've got no other idea right now, my mind feels kinda blank." Ironhide transformed into his pick-up form and William stepped into the vehicle. They drove out of base and wandered around until the human fell asleep. Like he had done before, the bot turned his windows to a darker shade and reclined slowly his passenger's seat to make him as comfortable as possible. Lennox fell into a deep sleep and dreamt of his daughter again, he caught a few glimpses at his wife but felt nothing, he only realised that as he woke up hours later.

Ironhide's engine were slowly humming around him, a low and smooth vibration running throughout the cockpit and through his body, he stretched out, yawning and moaning with relaxation after a good night's sleep in Morpheus' arms, Ironhide's cockpit. He yawned again and finally sat upright, as expected his seat followed his movement, he looked around, realised the glasses were tainted, people were moving around, he was in front of his quarters and it looked like morning.

-"Good morning Hide!" He said, the engine roared a little in response. "Could you let the light in please?" The windows turned to transparent and the morning sun invaded the cockpit, Lennox closed his eyes blinded by the sudden light and shielded them with his hands. "Shit! Those windows of yours are brilliant, literally." He chuckled, he then winced as he slowly reopened his eyes, allowing them to adjust to their environment. He looked at his watch, he still had time for a shower before breakfast and his physiotherapy session. "Thanks again Hide, it worked wonders. I feel really good." He stepped out of the car with his cane, his wheel chair was still at Hide's place. The bot turned back into his giant self and said:

-"You're welcome to sleep in my cabin whenever you need William. I'm here to help and unlike you I don't need sleep so don't hesitate to come at any odd time." The bot made a thumb up and winked. He seemed cheerful and Lennox chuckled anew.

-"Yeah, thanks Hide. I'll remember that. Anyway, I have to go take a shower now but I'll see you later."

-"I'll see you later William. Have a good day." Ironhide looked at the human walking back to his quarters on wobbly legs, it pained him to see his partner so weakened, to know him so fragile. Suddenly he wondered what Lennox taking a shower would look like, it unsettled him a little. His mate naked, his sensitive flesh exposed to the elements, to water, dribbling all over him, like a shiny second skin caressing the curves of his body.

-"Hey Hide! Waiting for Lennox? I believe he's got physiotherapy this morning." A voice startled the large bot and he stumbled to avoid falling on the black guy he actually liked a lot, William's best friend, his ally and friend too, Robert Epps.

-"Epps! Don't startle a bot like that! I could have killed you!" The human chuckled.

-"I never thought I could actually surprise you like that... Shit! This is a golden moment! I shall remember it until the end of times!" Said the Sargent chuckling. "So, what or who were you thinking about to be so far out? Huh?" Teased the human. He was not blind, he could tell there was something going on between his friends and being so close with the Autobots meant he understood how that could happen, after all they were sentient beings.

-"Nothing that concerns you Epps." Replied Hide looking a little unsettled.

-"Ooh, come on Hide, you can tell me!" The bot shrugged his shoulders and left.

-"I've gotta go." He said, the human laughed at his attitude.

-"Don't worry Hide, I'll tell William you were daydreaming in front of his quarters for you!" The bot turned around and swiftly sent a small rubber ball they used for training to Epps, it hit him right in the guts but simply made him laugh harder, pointing at Hide and shaking his head visibly very amused.

Later that morning, William had finished his physical exercises and was about to grab something to eat when someone told him his wife was here to see him. He joined her, happy to know that she was apparently giving him another chance.

The look on her face as she greeted him was ominous and Will felt his heart tighten.

-"We need to talk, there's something I have to tell you." She said as William led them to a meeting room where they could sit.

-"I'm listening." He said as they settled at a table.

-"I..." She looked at him with _I'm sorry_ written all over her face. "You can't remember this but our relationship wasn't going very well before your accident. With you gone so often, I wasn't happy to be honest and we used to argue a lot about you and Ironhide spending more time together than us. And then you got hurt... and fell into a coma..." She wiped a tear off her eye. "The doctors couldn't say if you would ever wake up... And I was devastated..." She took a deep breath to avoid crying.

-"I understand." Said William putting a comforting hand on her shoulder. She looked at him and smiled sadly.

-"So I went to one of those support groups for military spouses..." She made a face that meant I'm really sorry. "And I met someone... At first it was just nice to have someone who could understand what I was going through. Then his wife died and... One thing lead to another." William's face was blank, just like his mind. He nodded saying a low:

-"I understand."

-"I never meant to cheat on you but you were in a coma and... I needed someone... I know this sounds like a lame excuse, but that's just the way things went. I should feel sorry, but I feel like this is for the best." She combed her hair, cleared her throat, tried to get herself together. "I wanted you to know this now, so you don't have to worry about remembering me any more... That doesn't mean I'm cutting off all bridges, we still have Annabelle to raise, that obviously includes you, you're her father and she loves you." She paused and said in a lower voice: "So now you can be with Ironhide." She sounded mischievous and Lennox looked at her questioningly.

-"Why do you say that... like this?" He asked, she frowned slightly and tilted her head to the side.

-"Because you were always talking about him Will so passionately, because you cared so much about him, even when he wasn't there... Even after loosing your memory, you remembered him...him, it's always been him." She sounded a bit angry and calmed herself down. "I don't know, maybe I'm imagining things... maybe I wanted you to feel the same way about me, it doesn't matter any more..." She looked at William and made a pause, smiling at him. "I just want us both to be happy and that's not happening if we stay together. I'll get the papers sorted for divorce." Will nodded silently, she nodded back and finally said: "I've got to go..." She got up and her soon-to-be-ex-husband followed her to the building's door.

-"Drive safe." Said Lennox as she got into ~~their~~ her car. He looked at the kid's seat in the back.

-"I'll come visit with Annabelle when you feel better, you just give me a call and let me know, okay?"

-"Yeah, I'll do that, thanks."

-"Bye Will."

-"Yeah, bye Sarah." The car drove off and Lennox stood there for a while, eyes lost in the void, mind blank, guts twisted, tears waiting. He had just lost his family, or at least the idea of a family, of a home to go back to. He took a deep breath and looked around, he saw Ironhide far away, combat-training with some new recruits apparently.

He started thinking about what he could remember of his relationship with the bot, and what he had noticed since their reunion. He analysed, dissected and came to the conclusion that it was a very profound, heartfelt friendship, full of trust and care, of love, if Autobots could feel that way anyway. It was beautiful but what else could it ever be? A part of him knew he needed physical contact, touches and caresses from whoever he would share his life with, he was only human after all, and he could never get that from Ironhide, not in a sensual way like flesh to flesh contact could.

He wondered a bit about the holoform his partner could create, he had never tried to touch it or even asked if it was possible to, after all it was light, how could it be possible to? He wondered if maybe it could be possible to make it touchable, physical, tangible. Because a part of him was curious about what if would be like to have Ironhide as his partner in a more romantic way. He wondered if that would be considered as a gay relationship since Autobots did not seem to have a definite gender, they had no procreation process, they were built. How could they ever have sex? It made the human blush slightly as he realised how far his mind had gone, he was now considering having sex with Ironhide, what? He chuckled and slowly started to make his way to the mess hall.

After training with the newbies, Ironhide, who was in a cheerful and creative mood, went to see one of the base engineer, Emilio, a man pretty skilled when it came to repairing Autobots and finding ideas to create new weapons and stuff, they had worked together on numerous occasions over the years. He wanted to talk to him about an idea he had, something about creating a hard-light holoform, he had seen one once, back on Cybertron so he knew it was possible, he also had a pretty good idea about where to start and what to do but wanted to have this man's opinion, after all that could definitely be an advantage for the Autobots, to be able to go where the human troops could and provide cover as well as support.

The two talked for over three hours, they looked through the supplies at their disposal and went through different ideas and plans before both agreeing on something pretty close to what Ironhide had imagined, but better and easier to do. The bot was overjoyed, the human scoffed at him being like a excited teen over this invention, Ironhide reiterated all the advantages of this hard-light holoform for the combat situations, pointing how important it was that the holoform was able to enter buildings and move around freely, at least at a large enough distance from his mechanical form to allow some decent freedom.

He had yet to learn how to process information that would be coming from this new holoform, they had designed it to be touch-sensitive, tactile, Ironhide having pointed out the necessity of being able to feel a wire between your fingers properly if you are to diffuse a bomb for example. The engineer had found it important too, so there was that. But then he had wondered more about the importance of giving the holoform a penis, a sensitive one as well. Ironhide had then explained that being amongst humans had made him wonder about gender and decide that he was male, and also that since they could do it, being the creators, he had to admit he was curious about what being like a human felt, even if he knew that this would be far from the real thing, it would definitely be more than what he had ever experienced, in a physical sort anyway. The human had nodded, clearly agreeing with the bot and they had moved on to another point.

After a while Ironhide left Emilio who needed to eat, and went back to his lair to work on his new sensory inputs. Lennox joined him moments later, walking, only using his cane, no sign of the wheelchair, the bot smiled at him and said:

-"William, glad to see you on your two feet!" Lennox smiled back nodding.

-"Yeah, it feels great, but I can tell I won't last long standing like this, my muscles are already shivering slightly. Maybe walking all the way here was a bit more than recommended..." He smirked.

-"Well, you won't have to walk back, that's for sure. Now, come here and sit down, there's something I want to talk to you about!"

-"Yeah? Alright." Lennox could tell his partner was enthusiastic, it usually came with things to blow up in some way, which was always nice, so he sat down in front of the bot and looked at him intently. "I'm all ears Hide, shoot!"

-"We're gonna enhance the holoform Autobots can create to make it a hard-light one, a tangible, sensitive to the touch holoform. That way we'll be able to use our human-sized bodies to go where you humans go, inside buildings, underground and so on. We'll be able to feel our surroundings, provide ground cover and support as well. So what d'you think?"

-"Whoa, I wasn't expecting that..." Replied William, feeling his heartbeat fasten a little at the idea of having a human-sized, sensitive and tangible Ironhide, quickly wondering how much more in synch you could be with someone for having the same idea, it unsettled him a little but he kept his composure and continued: "That's great! I mean, being sensitive to touch is definitely something nice to experiment, I'm sure you'll like it too." He smiled. "And having you guys in a tangible holoform, fighting next to us, would definitely be an asset." He quickly added.

-"We've also decided to give our holoforms sexual organs." Lennox's eyebrows lifted a little, his cheeks blushed slightly. "To be able to experience fully what being human means, at least as best as possible, given it's a copy of a living creature." The bot smirked because he could tell William was feeling a little aroused, he could smell it and feel his body temperature rise.

-"Well good for you guys! Yeah!" He chuckled. "You've definitely put yourselves completely into it!" He laughed and Ironhide too. "So you're gonna have to test your new abilities at some point, how are you planning on doing that?" Lennox knew his question was ambiguous, at least, considering how aroused he felt in spite of himself. And knowing that Ironhide could smell it.

-"With your help William, if you want to." Replied the mech. A simple answer that made the human suddenly feel more self conscious. He cleared his throat, cheeks blushed.

-"Yeah, I think I'd like that."

-"I'm glad to hear that." The big creature's frame seemed smaller for a moment and William looked at him. He nodded.

-"It'd be nice to feel your touch without fearing you might break me by accident, because I'm just too small!" He chuckled.

-"That could never happen!" Replied Hide visibly offended. "Even though I'm big compared to you, I can feel what I hold in my hand, and control how much pressure I put on it. I could never crush you by accident!"

-"Okay, okay, cool your engines down!" Said Lennox chuckling anew. "I trust you Hide, it's just really impressive from where I stand, you know?" The bot grumbled and nodded lightly.

-"I guess I can understand." He lowered his upper body, put a hand on the floor next to William and sat next to him, then he slid a careful hand to cup Lennox inside it and cradle him to his chest, the human settled comfortably and looked at the bot. Ironhide's other hand slid on top of him and he stopped breathing for a second until he said:

-"Hide? What are you doing?" His partner hummed in a low mechanical sound that made Lennox shiver as he felt it pass through his body, being so close to his chest.

-"I'm wondering which parts of your body are the most sensitive." Replied the bot. Lennox gasped.

-"W... what?" A digit pretty much the size of half his body pinned him softly into the hand holding him, he moaned in spite of himself. "This won't..." work, he was about to say, but the digit had slid to his crotch and was now rubbing it slowly. In spite of its size it felt like it was pressing just where needed. "Shit... Hide..." The human put his hands on the big finger and followed his move, moaning softly, closing his eyes. Doing this was wrong on so many levels, but right now, it just felt good. It just felt like what he had been needing.

-"I want to make you feel good William, let me help you get a release." Lennox looked at him and huffed.

-"Hell yeah, please do that!" He replied, letting go of his usual inhibitions easily.

-"Then take your clothes off." Said Hide casually, removing his finger, Lennox smirked. He wanted this, hell he needed this. That's all he could think about at that moment, having some sense of intimacy, and yes, some release. He realised he had not come since waking up from his coma. Not feeling like it. But right now he needed it badly. He stripped off his clothes and laid back down on Hide's hand, cheeks flushed. Wide blue optics were staring at him and he had never felt so close to them.

-"Go on then! What are you waiting for you tease?" He asked nervously after a few seconds, Hide smiled and his finger came back to Lennox's groin, making him gasp. The Major kept on looking at his digit, so big and powerful, dangerous, giving him renewed pleasure, he was in awe. He had never imagined Ironhide could feel so soft and warm? He looked at the bot.

-"I... it feels warm?"

-"Yes, I warmed up this part of my finger for more pleasure." Lennox chuckled.

-"It feels nice... thanks for the thought." The man relaxed, started giving in on his pleasure and the bot looked at him mesmerised. He had been looking at porn, as human vulgarly called it, on the world wide web, he had seen enough cum and disturbing things to have an idea about what to do to please William, at least he hoped. But watching him breathe heavily was something else, and the sounds escaping him, nothing compared to what he had imagined.

-"There's something else I can do to give you pleasure Will. Spread your legs a little. Lennox obeyed without giving it more thoughts. Hide's finger moved and came back on top of him, kind of. Then he felt something slide between his ass-cheeks and press at his entrance. He gasped. The hand in which he was laying closed a little on him, a finger pressing softly on his chest.

-"Whow! What the hell Hide?" His hands were back on the big digit, he could not see what was happening lower. He looked at the optics above him.

-"From what I've seen, men get intense pleasure from being penetrated." Stated the bot, looking a bit unsettled.

-"Well, not all men go that way..."

-"Have you ever tried?"

-"No... well, kinda but..." He looked at the bot again, the hard and warm whatever thing was still pressing softly at his ass-hole and it felt intriguingly agreeable.

-"Just tell me if it hurts or if you want me to stop." Stated Ironhide as he pushed his makeshift sex-toy into his mate. His mate, William Lennox, giving his body to him so willingly, he could not believe it. He wanted to believe their bond was meant to be, he wanted to give him all the pleasure possible and if he needed to be ingenious about it, then he would be. He had bought an average-sized dildo on the internet, and attached it to a long stick he could hold between his fingers, had bought a big pot of lube in which he could dip the thing, now he was crash-testing it, and to his utmost satisfaction, it worked wonders on the Major.

-"Shit that feels good... go slow... just... go slow..." Lennox breathed shakily as the toy penetrated him, then he gasped as it withdrew only to plunge into him again very slowly. Hide took his time, all his sensors focused on the human and his reactions to his ministrations. He slid the toy in and out, burying it deeper and deeper, until Lennox moaned louder. "Hide..." The name was whispered but the bot heard it, he felt his mate's need and moved his mock-cock a bit faster, Will whined and his body writhed. "Fuck yeah!" He said. Ironhide remembered the prostate and moved his stick into a slightly different position, just as soon as he got the angle right, Lennox turned into an incoherent mess of mumbles and moans, discussing how wrong it was and how good it felt for a split second and coming all over himself the next, his body shivering from head to toe, his eyes wide open, looking at the blue optics dazed. Hide withdrew his mock-cock and Lennox sighed softly.

The Major laid there silently, enjoying the blissful moment, feeling relaxed and calmed. The pain of his meeting with his ex-wife dissipating like clouds in the sky. The digits covering him moved and the bot put a blanket over his body. Lennox hummed.

-"Thanks, but I'm not gonna sleep here you know. It's kinda hard, even if it's not cold." Hide nodded. After a moment Lennox grabbed his clothes and put them back on. Hide lowered him to the floor.

-"Would you prefer to sleep in my cab instead?" Asked the bot. The human looked at him with the sudden need to cuddle.

-"Yeah I'd like that." He replied, feeling like being inside Hide's cabin was as close as he would get to the feeling... for now. He smiled sheepishly and looked at the bot again as he turned into a pick up. "Thank you for doing all this Hide." He said as he caressed the door before getting in. The engine roared and he chuckled.

Lennox fell asleep in no time, wrapped in the blanket, curled into his seat, nose buried inside the fabric of the backrest, like he could smell Ironhide through it.

He spent another peaceful night.


End file.
